‘Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.’
Who is a mentor?
I have definitely been mentored before by the members of my church community. People with authority such as church leaders, pastors and elders. People who are trusted by the church community to lead them and teach them about God and how to lead a fulfilling Adventist life. However, recent events have challenged the views of who I believed a mentor was and what qualifications they must have.
Throughout my life, I have battled with anxiety. This anxiety had gotten so severe that it prevented me from doing the things that I used to enjoy doing. It negatively impacted relationships that I valued greatly and made me lose trust in God’s love for me. Every decision I made felt completely wrong and I didn’t know who to turn to for peace and comfort. It was here that I found my true mentor, my dad. My dad has coached me through the worst of my anxiety. He sat with me and talked me through my negative thoughts, he has guided me in my bible study and most importantly he has helped me seek God’s guidance for myself. What set my dad apart from the church leaders was that he was able to relate to my feelings. He was able to understand my doubts and fears as he has experienced them too. Most importantly, my dad cared about me finding my value in Christ no matter how long it took. This continued support has led me to a peace that I have not felt for many years. My dad’s actions throughout that time demonstrated the true characteristics that a mentor should show. Somebody who values God, who cares about you and who has the patience to guide you through every joy, backslide and opportunity that you will experience in your life.
I held these values close to my heart and hoped that one day I would be able to mentor somebody in a way that my dad mentored me. As I teach the children’s sabbath school class I always thought my opportunity would lie there, however, the opportunity came to me in a different form. My grandfather had become gravely ill and my mum was too afraid to fly to the United States to visit him, so dad went instead. As a result, my mum had this overwhelming sense of guilt that prevented her from finding peace in God. This was shocking as my mum had such a strong connection and a faith in God that never shook no matter what trials my family had faced in the past. In this vulnerable time, I sat with her and talked to her about my experiences. I shared with her verses and thoughts that had guided me through difficult times and I listened to her fears and doubts. However, I only saw myself as supporting my mother and nothing else. I was simply using my experiences to guide her back to the peace that she had felt in the past. After sharing one of my devotions my mum said to me, ‘Thank you for being my mentor through this time’. When she said that, I realised that the opportunity to mentor somebody can come at any moment.
When you mentor somebody, it does not matter how old you are or what your relationship is with that person. Everybody has experienced something in their lives. You become a mentor when you use that experience to guide somebody who may be going through the same thing. When you show you care, when you are willing to be patient with them, and when you understand the trials they may face and the difficulties they will need to overcome. Never be afraid or doubt your abilities. Let God’s strength and wisdom help you use your experiences for good.