“I choose you.” That’s friendship. Choice. It’s including someone in your life, and also editing if need be. Some friends are only meant to be in your life for a season or two, and that’s totally ok. Esther Perel says, ‘that the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships’. There are various degrees of closeness between different friends, yet every single one is precious. That adds richness and flavour to one’s life I believe.
I have a few good friends who live interstate and overseas. We have taught each other about long-distance relationships and the creativity and discipline that goes with it. We are forever grateful for technology, and we can share photos of everyday randomness, have virtual hot tea dates, and can see our kids grow up so easily.
Friendship has taught me to be myself. Totally and unapologetically. I love myself now. I take care of myself. Talk to yourself as you would to your best friend. Be gentle with yourself. I used to compare myself to other women, as many of us do. It wasn’t until after a conversation with a beautiful friend of mine last year that made me truly realise that God made me unique (yes faults and all). I have since embraced that. When you can see God’s love when you look in the mirror, that’s an amazing thing.
Love. Compassion. Respect. Empathy. Priorities. These are some things friendships have taught me. Once, after a breakup, one of my best friends literally dropped everything, drove 4h30min to come over and cook me some of her delicious spaghetti bolognaise and stayed overnight. The question wasn’t “do you want me to come over?”, it was “I’m coming!”. She is a Godsend. There are friends you drop everything for.
I believe God intertwines people’s lives on purpose and I am so grateful to him for my dear beautiful special friends.
WRITER: Jennifer Appadoo, attends Morphett Vale SDA Church (SA)