Would you be surprised to learn that there is NOTHING in the Bible about dating? None of the people mentioned in the Bible ever dated, as their marriages were usually prearranged. Dating is a particularly modern Western phenomenon as many cultures still do not practice dating. This means that most of the assumptions (what we should and shouldn’t do) of what’s appropriate while dating, is not Biblical either and has developed over time due to Western Christian Culture. Culture does not equal Biblical truth. However, the Bible does give us 3 principles that we can apply when dating.
PRINCIPLE 1:
‘Seek first the kingdom of God’ (Matt 6:33)… ‘Love the Lord your God with all heart…’ (Luke 10:27). The most important relationship you will ever have, giving your life meaning and purpose, is to have Jesus at the centre of your existence. When that relationship is right, then you are ready for the highs/lows, significant complexities, and the myriad of new experiences of having another human being as a partner. If not, when dating, you may become obsessed with your new friend and other important relationships will deteriorate. I know that you’ve seen some of your friends who have gone through this and the impact on them, their families and their friends is often devastating. When Jesus is first, the rest comes at His pace and is always right.
PRINCIPLE 2:
The person you are interested in dating should be a believer and love Jesus too (2 Cor 6:14-15)! This one can be hard, that is true, but God will never lead you into a relationship that will inevitably damage your relationship with Him. Satan will introduce you to the most beautiful human being you’ve ever met but then you find that they don’t love Jesus, and slowly, as with King Solomon, your heart will be turned from God as you don’t heed His advice. Be aware of the spiritual strength of the person you are attracted to and trust God in the process as He is the giver of ALL good gifts (James 1:17).
PRINCIPLE 3:
There is an emphasis on being married in our society even with the tragic statistic that the average Australian marriage lasts 8.4 years with 66%+ of all divorces being initiated by women. As a single person, DO NOT allow the pressure of marriage to dominate your life. Maybe, the gift of celibacy is yours? Maybe, marriage is in your future, I have no idea. But what I do know, is that being single is not a lesser state than being married and in fact, it has some great benefits for serving the Lord. (1 Cor 7:32). Embrace your singleness and be at peace with it knowing that in His time, all your desires will be met.
WRITER: Terry Johnson, is the President of the Seventh-day Australian Union Conference, and has been married to his beautiful wife for 30 years.