Approaching a person of the opposite gender can be tricky as no one wants to come across as creepy or inappropriate! There are several key skills that should be part of your repertoire that will keep you in good stead with all the relationships in your life.
Be respectful.
Respect is earned and should also be given carefully. When you are speaking to someone, are they looking at you and really listening to what you have to say or are they distracted by their mobile phone? Maybe they’re looking at someone over your shoulder instead of you. What is their body language sharing about their level of engagement? All of those can be red flags; are you emotionally intelligent enough to understand that they are not into you or are genuine in their interest? It’s a two-way communication and you have to be tuned into what is going on. Further, if you are interested, then you will genuinely be engaged in what they have to say and what they’re into as well. As Aretha Franklin once sang, “R E S P E C T, find out what it means to me!” That is what forms attraction between two consenting adults. Check out the story of how Abigail met David in 1 Samuel 25 where respect was formed and led to marriage.
Be genuine.
Nothing ruins a burgeoning relationship faster than a lack of genuine truth. Many relationships begin with falsehoods where one expresses interest in something that they have absolutely no desire for, but don’t tell the truth because they want to be with the other person and not harm them! This lends itself to heaps of TV Sitcom episodes that are funny but the end reality always undermines relationships. If you are genuine, you will tell the truth. However, the father of lies, Satan, tells you it’s easier to lie now and you can share the truth in the future. Nope, that does not work and never has. Tell the truth from the start of your relationship as much as it may hurt. That means that you never ask questions of the other, where to avoid conflict they will lie to you! Instead, learn to ask genuine questions such as, “I hear what you are saying…how does that make you feel?” Then pay attention and listen with your heart and mind, not simply your ears. Romans 12:9 says “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good!”
Be confident.
God wants us to have confidence in life! Confidence is not boastful or arrogant but is assured with the knowledge of being saved in Jesus! Our self-worth is in Christ. 2 Cor 12:9 “My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Tim 1:7 “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” So go out there and ask someone out on a date! What’s the worst that can happen? They may say no! So, what? They will ultimately respect you for being brave, nay, courageous and confident and who knows, maybe they will become your life partner and wouldn’t that be AWESOME!
WRITER: Terry Johnson, is the President of the Seventh-day Australian Union Conference, and has been married to his beautiful wife for 30 years.