Here’s a tough pill to swallow; during my pregnancy, I was so excited to be pregnant but also petrified that for some reason my baby would be taken away from me before or after birth. What a horrible thought. And here’s the hardest part, instead of turning to the Lord and leaning into his promises, I shut him out.
You see, I was too scared to put everything, my unborn child, my pregnancy, into His hands, just in case He decided to take it away. I know, that’s pretty messed up. God doesn’t work like that and I know that. And yet, I was in a season of joy and fear, gratitude and guilt.
When my daughter was born, the first thing I did was sing to her and then bless her. Now it’s become our bedtime routine. I sing to her and I pray and I bless her with the words from Numbers 6:24-26.
I may sound all spiritually restored and whatnot, but the truth is, I started doing that because even though I still wasn’t sure of God and what His plan of motherhood for me was and is, I know I want my daughter to grow up knowing and loving the Lord.
So at first my prayers started in a childish way with her. But as I think about them now, I realise I’m taking it all to the Lord in prayer. I pray for our family, our friends, our health, our sleep. But I also pray for our business, our employees, the animals on our property. I pray for whatever comes to mind. And last night, I actually found my heart lightening as I prayed. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt a change in me after praying.
So I want to encourage you. Even if it hurts, even if your heart is not in it, even if it feels like you’re praying the same childish prayer over and over. Keep praying. Even if it’s only once before bedtime. Pray. Pray. Pray. Our walk with the Lord goes through seasons. Sometimes they’re dry and empty, and other times they’re fulfilling and overflowing. Still, Pray.
‘May the Lord bless you and protect you;
May Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
May the Lord look with favour on you and give you peace.’
Amen.
WRITER: Natalie Moore, attends Launceston SDA Church.