We all have days when we get up out of bed on the wrong side, feel plagued by self-doubt, look in the mirror and wonder who that person really is staring back at us. We may ask the question: Am I significant? Do I really matter?
I’m talking here about our self-image―the way we feel about ourselves and value who we are. It can be incredibly fragile, may go through peaks and troughs, and can be dependent on so many things going on in our lives.
Typically, issues relating to low self-esteem and self-image are attributed to our adolescent years―but this is such a misconception! Our self-image can take a downturn at any stage of our lives, during different seasons, and sometimes, when we least expect it.
So, what is self-image and what factors affect how we feel about ourselves and our own self-worth and inherent value?
For many people, their self-image is quite connected to how they feel about their physical selves―their body image. Whilst it’s true that many young women (and more mature women!) feel unhappy with their looks or body shape, guys too, often struggle just as significantly with this issue. In fact, of the over 14,000 young Australians surveyed in Mission Australia’s youth survey in 2013, ‘Body Image’ ranked in the top three issues of personal concern for young people.
Would you like fake with that?
In our image-based society, it is virtually impossible to not be influenced in some way by the unrealistic and idealised images of physical perfection that we are bombarded with daily. Everywhere we turn, we are confronted by digitally altered images in almost every magazine we pick up, every advertisement we view, and every program we watch on television. Why is this the case? Because the society we live in has bought into this notion that our value and worth are connected to how we look. Our physical image. How ‘hot’ we look, how tanned or skinny we are, how muscly our physique is―these are all so-called ideals of perfection that set the bar so high, that many of us end up comparing ourselves and despairing that we can never, ever measure up!
And it’s true―we can never measure up. Because these images in advertising and magazines are actually fake. Made up, computer enhanced, digitally altered, airbrushed, and artificially created from scratch. What most people don’t realise is that the average image on a magazine cover or advertisement has had between 40-45 digitally altered changes. Everything from removing scars, wrinkles, and blemishes, to changing eye colour, hair colour and skin tone. Removing inches from arms, thighs and stomach is also routine! So next time you find yourself feeling like you physically don’t measure up just remember that you are measuring yourself against an unrealistic and fake yardstick.
This is so far removed from what our heavenly Father created us to be and how He wants us to value ourselves. We have all been created in the image of God and have inherent value in being Christ’s image-bearers. We don’t need to measure up to anything else―we are perfect in God’s eyes.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out:
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God- you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvellously made!
I worship in adoration- what a creation!Psalm 139:13 (The Message)
Comparing ourselves to others
In our dominant world of social media, never have we been so self-absorbed and self-obsessed with our self-image. This is an issue we all must guard our hearts and souls against. As many of us make use of social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram, it’s easy to present our self-image to the world as glossy and perfect. In fact, we mostly only reveal the ‘showreel’ of our lives. This can be tough on our own self-esteem as it would seem that everyone else is out there feeling great about themselves and having the time of their lives!
In fact, if we all shared the days we were feeling flat, full of self-doubt and not great about ourselves, we would probably feel a lot freer to be honest about ourselves.
I don’t know about you, but I have often struggled BIG TIME with what others thought about me! I would worry about how people thought I looked, whether what I said was okay and whether I measured up. I was more concerned at times, with what others thought of me than what my creator God thought of me. It seems ridiculous doesn’t it- that we would think far more about what others think of us- and that we would allow that to ultimately influence our own thoughts about our worth.
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of someone else.”Judy Garland
We can spend a lifetime trying to imitate others; trying to measure up to other’s expectations of us- but ultimately God has created us in His own image. As UNIQUE, blessed, full of amazing potential, image bearers of Him! And that is the ultimate.
We could spend an exhausting amount of time comparing ourselves to others―to celebrities in magazines and those that we think are doing life better than us―but God is only interested in YOU being the best YOU that you can possibly be, and fulfilling the incredible potential that He has instilled in you.
‘Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.’
Romans 12:6 (The Message)
There are many other things that can affect our self-image. Our own fear of failure and measuring up to others, our parent’s, or society’s view of success, can also influence how we feel about ourselves.
Some of you may experience learning difficulties, struggle with shyness or making friends. Let me tell you that even the most outwardly successful people struggle with issues of self-doubt at some stage- we just aren’t usually privy to these struggles most of the time.
So, what can you do to develop a greater sense of self-worth and take hold of the promises of God in your life?
- Accept that you have been created as an image bearer of Christ.
- Learn to accept yourself from the inside out! Ignore the other influences from the media and society and realise that you are an amazing person.
- Do good for others. When we focus on the positive ways we can help and influence others, we have the added bonus of boosting our own self-esteem.
- Spend time doing things you are great at. Find your passion―whether that be working with children, sports, art, or music. When we work with the gifts and talents God has entrusted to us, we truly shine.
- Pray! Ask God to reveal to you His great love and acceptance, so that you will truly grasp this truth, that you are exactly who you are meant to be, and you don’t need to spend your life comparing yourself to others.
WRITER: Sharon Witt is one of Australia’s leading authors of books for children and teens on growing up, resilience and wellbeing. An educator of over thirty years, she is a sought after presenter in schools, and conferences and is often called upon in the media.