Right now my garden is full, mostly of grass but with a delightful selection of grey green shoots popping up in clumps. My hope is that these shoots are daffodils but I cannot be certain. They may be the pungent jonquils renowned for being overpowering and headache inducing for some. Or they may be what I hope for – daffodils – but a bland variety, full yellow, with no frills, nor delicate tones of orange or pink.
Time will undoubtedly reveal what kind of spring gold I have to enjoy. But what about the rest? What about all that untidy grass and overgrown mess? Should I dig and try to restore order or should I wait in order to protect other bulbs or blooms that may lie beneath the surface?
One of the blessings and also the lessons of gardening is how long things take. You cannot force a flower to bloom by peeling back the sepals and peeking at the petals. You simply must wait and allow it to blossom. Likewise a beautiful garden is not always in bloom. Some seasons, they can appear dead or dying, messy and hopeless, with not much in flower despite careful planning by the gardener.
An inexperienced eye may well pull up and rip out a beautiful garden or plant simply as it is not currently in bloom. We are apt to do the same with people and indeed ourselves when we are not presently laden with flowers.
“Ah I’m such a failure’… ‘I can’t do anything right’…’I don’t seem to be achieving anything with my life.’ It is so easy to judge based on what we can see. And what we can see right now. Modern society is decidedly geared towards quick and visible results. This can leave us feeling and thinking in less than positive terms about ourselves in some of the natural and unavoidable ‘seasons’ of life.
I wonder how much of our self criticism at times is due to our inability to view these fallow times for what they are. Times of waiting or preparing for things to come. And at other times, they require an entirely different perspective to see their value or purpose.
1 Samuel 16:7 ‘… man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.’
Isaiah 55:8-9 ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways…my ways are higher than your ways.’
God sees the whole of what we are and what we are going through. He is not limited to the fragment of reality that we see with broken lenses. God sees our whole self. But most of all He sees himself in His entirety too. He does not see only us. He does not see our lives or our value in the limited context of us. Rather He sees and understands our value in the context of His power and provision.
God knows exactly which type of bulbs are building up to their spring glories in my garden. He also knows whether there are more that I have not yet discovered. While it is probably best that I remove the grass, perhaps it is also wise that I focus on what type of gardener created such splendor as I wait for what is underground to reveal itself. If I allow the master gardener to garden alongside me as I pull grass, perhaps my tendency to define myself by my blooms alone will diminish and I will find lasting gold.