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IDENTIFY WHAT THEY ARE
As with anything, if you don’t know what’s bad for you, you’ll never be able to get rid of it. Sometimes the process of realisation takes a good, hard think. Try to get to the root of your recent bad decisions. Was it all you? Did your friends have a part to play nudging you towards that path? Are there other influences such as movies, games, people you follow or even music? Are your bad influences things which overwhelm your time, making you less productive and more behind?
It may be hard to put your finger on exactly what things/people influence you and this is partly because deep down you don’t want to! Finding out would mean that you have no excuse but to remove them, and that means effort, change and stepping out of your comfort zone. What can help is having a trustworthy friend, family member or a wiser person you look up to (emphasis on wiser), to be your honesty partner. Ask them to point out things which they can see from a non-biased perspective of your life, which could do with some tweaking.2. STEP AWAY
It’s one thing realising that your good friend is subtly leading you astray, but then comes the point of action. Do you just cut them off completely, or you tell them to stop being a bad influence?
It’s a tricky decision, but one thing’s certain; you need to take a step back. If the problem is a person, tell them you’re trying to steer your life down a different path and need to take some time out. If it’s movies/video games, do a screen fast. Whatever it is, stop making it a priority in your life. It may take slow and small steps until you are able to set yourself free, or you may want to do a complete ‘Ctrl’ +’Alt’ + ‘Delete’ and reset your life. The point is, you’re moving forward.3. BRANCH OUT
Now it may seem like something is missing from your life. If you remove things which used to take up a lot of your time, you are suddenly left with an unusual amount of it. This is where things get hairy. If you don’t replace bad influences with good ones; eventually you’ll end up going back to them, or just find other, even worse ones, to replace them with. Maybe not consciously, but your mind will go back to things it’s familiar with very quickly. This is why it’s crucial not to just hang around counting blades of grass but get back into action. Talk to new, interesting people, maybe ones who are doing extracurricular activities or getting good grades. Maybe ones who never seem to be behind or waste all their money on trivial things. Instead of turning to the screen, get outside and get a pump on! Offer to walk your neighbour’s dog, clean the house or start learning the guitar (seriously, it’s probably one of the easiest instruments to learn for free, just YouTube it).
Whatever new habit you start picking up, find people who are into the same thing and it will help you to stay on track and stop rebounding.4. REMIND YOURSELF WHY
Change is hard. And the journey to improvement even harder! That’s why it’s important to pause and look at where you are and why you’re doing all this. Your mind will naturally try to steer you back to your old ways, but don’t give in! Write down top reasons why you want to be surrounded by good influences, and stick them on your mirror, walls, notebooks, phone, breakfast cereal… Anywhere you tend to look. Be proactive in creating an environment of change because your whole life is spent in an environment which you have the power to control.
And remember, this is for you. It’s for improving your present and future and making you into the well-rounded person you were designed to be.5. BE A GOOD INFLUENCE
Remember the people in step 1 who helped you see a new and better path? Remember the people in step 3 who helped and encouraged you to focus on things which are good for you and will help you to win in life? Well, it’s time for you to now be one of them. Once you’re at this stage, you may be so excited about your new life and have many goals and plans for the future, but don’t forget that you didn’t do it alone and neither will others. In helping others, you are helping yourself stay on the right track.
There may be people you know who need to change their circle of influence, and maybe they need a catalyst to start off step 1 for them. You could be that catalyst.
AUTHOR: Lara Dimitriou, attends Margate SDA church in Tasmania (Southern-most church in all of Australia)