Growing up, I thought that romantic relationships were, quite simply, a waste of time. I am not sure why my younger self had such a pessimistic outlook on love… I was probably under the influence of celebrity couples and their dramatic breakups. Alas, I focussed on developing friendships in an attempt to avoid potential heartbreak, and I pushed away even the slightest suggestion of admiration or interest.
Eventually, I realised that friends can break your heart too. There is nothing worse than feeling yourself drift from someone who you thought would be your best friend forever. Moving from Sydney to Newcastle in 2016, I lost contact with several people. This is when I realised that two key factors in maintaining a successful relationship are: communication and effort. If someone wants you in their life, they will make it obvious. Side note — I am totally going to sound like a motivational speaker when I say this, but don’t compromise your value and self-worth for mediocrity.
Lesson 1: Quality over quantity
This was my dad’s favourite piece of advice. He would constantly tell me, “Be careful with who you rely upon.” Through my 18 years of living, I can count on one hand the number of friends who I absolutely know will be there for me, any time, any day. And that’s ok because you can’t expect everyone to be trustworthy or non-judgemental; it also doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth keeping in your life. You need people for all of your seasons.
Lesson 2: It doesn’t always have to be about love
Sometimes, it’s just about the experiences that teach you to be good at love when it does come around.
Lesson 3: Life goes on
Although this sounds harsh, it’s a necessary reminder. I am grateful for the process, and I am blessed beyond measure with a wealth of people who provide me with encouragement and wisdom. Breakups suck, but to allow opportunity for healing and growth, don’t choose to dwell on the negatives.
As I matured (kinda lol), my heart took a journey. It’s so easy to lose touch with God. Instead, I often found myself in a desperate endeavour to please everyone else, neglecting my relationship with Him. Imagine if I had put the same amount of effort in trying to do what others wanted me to do, into doing what He actually knows is best for me! Despite various worldly influences, God’s grace and mercy will never end. This is the ultimate illustration of love.
AUTHOR: Margaret Graham