Treat others as you would like to be treated.
What would Jesus do?
These principles are great to live by, however, if taken out of context can be quite damaging. Please don’t get me wrong, I do believe there is a lot of truth in these statements, but for a long time, I had a distorted view which was not doing me any favours.
There have been times in my life where I have been so afraid of disappointing people, letting someone down or saying NO. I would make it my priority to make sure my friends had company, my family was supported, my classmates were up to date and my dog felt loved. By the end of the week, I would be so emotionally drained I could barely function myself. I would feel so depleted that my assignments would suffer, along with my mental health and faith.
I can see now that serving God is not an act of playing martyr. Treating others as you would like to be treated requires you to take care of yourself so that you have the energy and strength you need to serve. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. In an effort to take better care of my health, I have learnt to take a step back and rest when I know I need it. It might mean not accepting every invite, leaving someone on ‘read’, or taking a rain check when a friend wants to hang out. It’s better to take a rain check than be in your own rainstorm of tears when it all gets too much.
If you’re anything like me, you will feel obliged and think you need to do all these things right away or the world will fall apart. It won’t. Take a deep breath, step back and say NO.
Of course, I don’t actually give this one-liner ‘NO’ in response to people, but it’s a word I often have to say in my mind to remind myself of what I can handle and when I need to take a moment for myself to decompress.
Now, what would Jesus do?
Do you remember the story of Mary and Martha? Martha was a worrier who I can relate to incredibly. When Jesus came to visit the sisters, Martha was fussing around the house and kept waiting on Jesus. Mary on the other hand sat down and relished in Jesus’ company and was present in the moment. Jesus told Martha to be like Mary and be still. God doesn’t expect us to carry the weight of the universe on our shoulders and jump at every opportunity out there when we are drowning in the weight of our own responsibilities. He wants us to be like Mary and stop. Stop and enjoy the present. Your friends aren’t going anywhere, your family will understand, and your dog can be a warm hug and sweet comfort.
I encourage you to show yourself some compassion and cut yourself some slack if you are weighed down in your own expectations. You are only one person and you are doing the best that you can. Try to master the art of saying NO. It can just be in your mind but can allow you to set healthy boundaries on the standards you have for yourself. This has been a personal journey and revelation that has helped me find a lot of peace and acceptance within myself.
What would Jesus do? He would have compassion, so let’s get some for ourselves.
WRITER: Rochelle Ward