What is the worst week that you have ever had? I guarantee that Job had a worse one- losing his family, livelihood and health all in a week is a pretty shocking run. Job tried to reason what had happened to him- he sat in the dirt with his friends beside him and contemplated what had just happened. I think sometimes we all feel like Job- horrible things, things that happen for no rhyme or reason and make no sense happen, we are shell-shocked, then we cry out to God, and we seemingly get no answer.
Last year left me worn and torn, it left me run ragged and gasping for breath, it left me anxious and worried, but most of all, it left me changed. I don’t believe in karma, but it almost felt like I was receiving a cosmic punishment for something I had done. I could not help but wonder if I had perhaps stepped on the wrong bug. I felt a little bit like Job crying out. But just like Job, I saw God and felt his presence during the year like never before.
My maladies last year included, among others, a mild case of sleep deprivation, having too much on my plate, and a severe case of anything and everything that could go wrong, going wrong. I was teaching three days a week while I finished my study. Adding onto that, my family could not seem to catch a break. On top of the many health issues my family faced, my dad was made redundant before a major surgery. Although there were some great times last year, much of it was devastating. Some days it felt like I was drowning in all I had to do. It seemed as though I would never be able to breathe clearly again.
What is extraordinary is that despite the struggles, I know that I have grown more than I could have ever imagined. My faith has been shaken and tested, I have been weary and burdened, but my faith has emerged stronger from the chrysalis of the trial.
Sometimes I felt that God was radio silent. When I asked and questioned why everything was happening, I felt like Job, crying out helplessly into the wind with no perceivable answer. I thought that maybe my situation was beyond God’s help. I wondered if he had forgotten about me- sometimes I even questioned whether he existed.
However, there were also times when I felt God’s presence more strongly than I had any other time in my life. I could hear God whispering his promises to me and surrounding my family and me.
Job spends the first 37 chapters of the book crying out to God and trying to make reason out of the tragedy in his life. He hears no response from God. Then God responds stunningly. Job 38:1 tells us that God speaks to Job “out of the whirlwind”. God did not wait until Job’s grief and suffering had passed- he spoke to Job in the storm. God spoke to me in my storms last year.
More than that, I believe that God used my trials to bring good. God does not want or cause the bad to happen, but as it says in Romans 8:28, God uses the bad to create good. Like diamonds, we can be created through pressure, Romans 5: 3-5 says,
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Even more than that, in John 16:33, Jesus tells his followers,
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
God does not promise that life is going to be easy. This world is tainted by sin, and perhaps this year may not be a good one. However, God promises that the end of our story is perfect- he has already made sure of it.
The reality is that sometimes we have more than just one bad day, week, month or year. There are times when our hearts are breaking, and the terrifying unimaginable is becoming a reality. Just as God spoke to Job during his struggles, he will be near to us too.
Sometimes it takes days, months or years to recognise where God was in a trial. I challenge you to look back on your 2019. Think about your highs and lows and contemplate about where you can see God’s guiding and comforting hand at work. I guarantee you that God did not forsake you for a moment even if you cannot quite see it yet.
WRITER: Kira-leigh Josey, attends Thornleigh Church NSW