I’m not ashamed to admit that I am familiar with singleness, my whole life, up until this moment has been spent in this season. I’ve had all the questions, ranging from “Is this your boyfriend?” while pointing to my brother/cousin/friend to “what is wrong with you?”.
Coming to terms with my singleness has been a struggle for me in the past. I used to hide behind the idea of being a strong independent woman, but deep down, I longed for that connection. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with wanting to find love, to belong to someone, and to feel needed by someone.
“The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:8 NIV
We were created to form relationships with others.
The issue that we have as a society, is the stigma around singleness. Before I came to terms with God’s plan for me, I pretty much did everything every cliché single Christian girl does. From journaling about my future husband to begging God in prayer, in hopes that somehow, I would be able to speed up the process.
Our society idolizes the idea of having a relationship so much, that we forget about our relationship with God. While it is a blessing to be in a relationship with someone, I want to emphasize that our relationships with others are just a faint echo of the relationship that God wants to have with us. In forming a deeper connection with God, I have realized that His love is enough for me. After all, God wouldn’t be our creator if He alone, couldn’t give us what we need.
These are just some of the problems that people have with being single, and if you look closely, you will find that God is the solution to all of them:
- Tired of being single? Matthew 11:28
- You can’t be happy without someone? Philippians 4:4
- You need someone to be complete? Colossians 2:10
- You don’t have a sense of belonging without a partner? 1 Corinthians 3:23
- You think that you are not loved? Romans 8:38-39
In Christ we are whole, and a relationship with another human is just an added bonus. In my season of singleness, I have learned that waiting on God is different to waiting in God.
Waiting on God
When I waited on God, I was filled with frustration and anxiety. I was unable to move past this perceived issue in my life, I did things that I thought would help speed up the process and I came up with solutions that never lasted.
When you wait on God, it’s like watching the clock. Time moves slower when you try to rush what God has for you. The reality is, that God doesn’t work on your timeline, He works on His timeline. You just have to allow Him to guide your path.
Waiting in God
Waiting in God means moving despite not being able to see a clear path, it means building a deeper relationship with Him and relying on Him to fulfil your needs. When you wait in God, you won’t have to find your own solution because God will present it to you. Waiting in God means being content with where you are now, knowing that He has a plan for you. There are lessons that can only be learnt while you are single, and there are blessings that you cannot receive while being in a relationship.
Singleness is not something to be afraid of, it’s not a curse and there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not with someone yet. God knows what He has in store for you, and I can guarantee that His plans are better than any plans you could have for yourself. I encourage you to stop waiting on God and start waiting in God.
WRITER: Kymberly McMurray, GC Freelance Writer