Waiting can be so painful. Crushing. The weight of hopes not yet met can be leaden. It can feel as if you have no autonomy over your life and nothing will ever change. It can feel as if without what you are waiting for, life halts and ceases to progress.
Waiting or rather the longing for what you wish for can be as tearing ligament from bone; excruciating. There always seems to be someone just getting or about to get exactly what it is that you long for, right when bearing it any longer seems impossible.
Hannah, mother of Samuel, was accused of being drunk as she poured out her anguish to the Lord. She had longed for a child and had long since been tormented by her husband’s other wife, who had children. It had been years that she had been waiting. The hole in her life grew as time passed. It may have seemed that circumstances were becoming untenable for her dream of a child to even be possible. Nothing is mentioned of her age but she was so distressed that she was refusing to eat. This may be an indication that today she would have been regarded as being clinically depressed.
What perhaps is most significant about her story is that she has continued to pour out her anguish before God. She hasn’t devised her own plan B and tried to gain a child through alternate means as did Abraham’s wife Sarah. Neither is it mentioned that she blamed her husband for her childlessness. What is recorded is that she ‘was praying in her heart,’ deeply troubled,’ and pouring out [her] soul to the Lord (Samuel 1:13-15).’ She doesn’t pretend that her want is not present. She doesn’t place some positivity on top and simply say, ‘ah, I can be a better wife with more time on my hands.’ She takes her waiting heart to God and lets Him sooth and strengthen her.
She later prays, ‘My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn (strength) is lifted high (Samuel 2:1).’ She gets her long desired son. Her waiting is finally over. How did she maintain her hope and strength? She sought the presence of God and allowed Him to fill her with his spirit.
Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my Saviour; my God will hear me.
We have a personal God. A God who hears and wants to listen to us as we wait for either the mundane or the intensely personal burdens on our hearts. God is right beside us, waiting for us to turn to Him and let Him be our help.