‘I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.’ Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
On September 15th, 2021 my life changed. It didn’t feel like it had, but four words would alter the plans I had in mind for the foreseeable future. ‘You have Hodgkin lymphoma’. Hodgkin lymphoma HL is a type of blood cancer, that is most commonly diagnosed in people aged between 15 and 29 or over 65. It is a cancer of the lymphatic system, affecting one or more of the lymph glands and nodes around the body.
I’m 28 years old. I live a mostly healthy life. I eat well, I exercise regularly, I had no pre-existing medical conditions. I’m a mum of a toddler, own and run two small businesses with my husband, live in Tasmania on 5 acres of land with a veggie garden and animals. On paper, I’m a healthy person. So, hearing a cancer diagnosis wasn’t a death sentence. Being told that HL is very treatable, responds well and because of all the other things going for me, I’ve experienced the most overwhelming peace that only God can give.
It seems odd to be writing about cancer during a health and wellness month for My Edge Mag. Even though my body is technically ‘sick’, I’ve become aware of just how incredible our bodies truly are. There is no error in HOW and WHY our bodies were made the way they were. It is NO accident that we’ve been knit together in expert fashion by our Creator (Psalm 139:13). Yes, sin has marred our existence in this life. And no, this cancer stuff, isn’t meant to happen. But through it, God is working and moving and doing a great work (Philippians 1:6).
I was physically fine. Many of those who have read my diagnosis blog post know that other than some random neck lumps and then a big armpit lump I had no real indicators that something was wrong. And yet, I had seemingly unrelated dermatitis on my hands, which since starting treatment has disappeared. My armpit lump, the size of a ping pong ball, after just one round of chemotherapy, has shrunk down to the size of a pea.
My body has been giving me signals for months that something wasn’t quite right. My wonderfully made body was telling me something. This sinful shell, polluted by the world we live in, was still working hard to keep me going, functioning normally and fighting something foreign within it. That is an incredibly designed machine if I’ve ever heard of one.
I’ve also gotten an incredible, new, first-hand appreciation for doctors, nurses and modern medicine. In day to day life, I try to live a clean, low tox life as much as possible. And while I’ve heard of, and respect those who choose to naturally treat HL, I’ve chosen to work with medical science and support my body with complimentary naturopathic help. I truly believe there is a place for both. I believe that God, in His wisdom has allowed us to learn, study and understand our bodies, how our world works, and how to create the things we need to support life on earth.
In the last month and a half, I have experienced a sense of peace and surrender every step of the way. I’ve truly felt mentally strong and most of the time emotionally strong too. At times, I have had to give in to my lack of physical strength and take the nap, or the painkiller I need. I’ve had bursts of energy and motivation to tackle house projects, make checklists and work on training up my 22-month old daughter in the way she should go (Proverbs 22:6). I have been blessed with the greatest support system of church members, friends and family and that has made my heart glad and helped my wellness, while my health isn’t at its best.
There is so much to be grateful for, even in this time of life. Even in today’s struggles. Even as I sit in a hospital bed now, after an unexpected fever spike last night. Life is great. Even when health isn’t guaranteed. Wellness can be.
Natalie Moore: lives in Launceston, Tasmania. She writes on Casual Grace Blog – a space for God’s everyday grace. You can sign up there for newsletter updates on her progress and support her team ‘Peace and Surrender’ in the World’s Greatest Shave (twelve friends from Launceston SDA Church shaved their heads on October 30th with Nat joining and shaving live from her hospital room).